hotsnack: just say no

Aspiring food writers often email me looking for pearls of wisdom to get their careers going. I always try to reply with ideas on what to do. It never occurred to me until recently that perhaps advice on what not to do is useful as well.

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I got a call from a news editor asking me to do a story on a restaurant that had closed for a day due to dining room problems, and then got a very poor (and publicly trumpeted) rating from the NY Health Department. I declined because the deadline was impossibly short, but more importantly, because it was a hatchet job. I do not like to wield an editorial axe. It is not my style.

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That got me wondering…what stories do writers turn down and why? Seems hatchet jobs, stories outside one’s expertise, anything pre-packaged from a publicist, and lack of funds are the top reasons. Following your gut instincts is recommended as well. Here are some just-say-no stories from Anthony Bourdain, Peter Elliot, Alice Feiring and Michael Ruhlman.

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Read the complete and unedited snack-cut after the jump.

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Anthony Bourdain:

I tend to pass on any stories that don't interest me: favorite recipes, knife tips, any happy horseshit that others would be better at.  As I'm hopelessly mobbed up with a lot of chefs whom I consider friends--or simply have a lot of respect for, I don't do hatchet jobs. That being said, if a chef I respect does something I consider egregiously wrong headed or treacherous, as with Charlie Trotter's loud position on foie gras, I will say so. Often bombastically.

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I don't do "reviews" of restaurants, as I a) am compromised, b) have strong prejudices, known likes and dislikes and c) just wouldn't enjoy doing them. I stick with subjects I'm passionate about and avoid any article or subject where I'd have to adopt the pose of "expert" or "authority." If I believe anything to be true, it's that the older I get and the more I see, the less I know for sure.

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Peter Elliot:

"No" is one of my favorite words, if one that gets used infrequently since there are lots of other words or phrases that mean the same thing, the most common of which is "thank you." Thank you, followed by whatever you want to insert (i.e. "I'll be in the bath," "I'm busy that decade") really just means "no."

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I use “no” most often for Public Relations executives; most of whom I genuinely like as people, but to a profession doesn’t seem to understand that most journalists don't want other people's ideas being crammed down their throats. Or at least not admittedly. I often wonder if people in PR approach sex the same way. For a publicist, trying to get a journalist to do what you want is much like being attracted to someone and anyone who accepts your sexual proposition, except that instead of a whispery come-on, it’s a glossy folder full of clippings of other peoples work, and "how to" pointers about which positions they like. It makes me think that publicists should have their heads examined.

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I have said no to every single pitch in my career. If I can't come up with my own ideas for how to write about a chef, an owner, a restaurant or any related subject, then I shouldn't be in the business of writing. Of course, I have come across a few smart PR people, editors, and publishers along the way who realize that it is much better to present a subject, let the writer come up with the idea, and then help shape the story.

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Television is different. "No, I can't do that," seems to come out much better. I said no to a proposed show where I was supposed to jump out of a boat into the sea, swim along a clam bed, crawl through some beach grass and then open the clams with my teeth. "Thank you, No."  I've been asked to interview a chef who represented a particular brand of olive oil, who told me in the green room before the show that he hated the stuff since childhood but could only talk about the olive oil during the interview. I cancelled the interview. 

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I've been blackmailed. As in, "If you don't take back what you said on the air and come up with a positive report, we’ll call your boss and pull our advertising." I said no, they did call my boss (who happens to be the Mayor of New York), they did pull their advertising and the whole episode made it to New York Magazine. 

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Alice Feiring:

I recently turned down a story from a well-known business magazine, even though I was the one who pitched it. I turned it down for two reasons.

While the money wasn't awful (but not great) they wouldn't pay expenses. I was going to Italy (to drink lots of Barolo and eat lots of truffles) and expenses were essential.  Yet, still, I might have gone on my own dime, as I wanted to use the opportunity to research a chapter of the book I'm working on. The real deal breaker for me was that the editor took out my quirky 1st person approach and asked for a dry, service piece, which in this case, would have been torture to write. I very politely declined, with many apologies.

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Michael Ruhlman:

I won't do stories that I don't believe in or that have a false premise. Almost always I generate my own ideas, but, for instance, I was asked by a magazine to write a story about chemists who became chefs, or chefs who had studied chemistry, and used this knowledge in their cooking. On the surface it sounds like a clever story idea, but the fact is, after making a few phone calls, I found that chemistry majors who become chefs don't use the laws of chemistry or their training in any different or special way in cooking than CIA grads or anthropology majors. Chemistry majors didn't bring anything new or special to the table because they were chemistry students. I told the editor. He sounded pissed. I said, sorry. Never heard from him again. Happily.

Comments

[Julie O'Hara]

That was really interesting. It's good to know that our top food journalists are an ethical bunch.

[Lorin Gaudin]

I won't write restaurant gossip. I recently lost a regular writing job because I refused to write a gossip piece that an editor insisted was supported but for which there was no sources, no confirmation, nothing provided. The gossip could have been detrimental to the subject business, the magazine and my reputation.

[docwrite]

Nice piece. Delighted to hear that many writers/journalists practice their art with ethics and morals. Keep up the good work!

[will goldfarb]

great piece
keep up the good work
i particularly enjoyed peter elliot's no nonsense approach

[johnny sunken sockets]

Peter Elliott???? what an insipid douche bag wannabe!!! Boring and mediocre person with absolutely no detectable talent other than unheard slander or boring layered praise. That Sirio book was almost Pulitzer!